Saturday, May 25, 2013

Endings are the saddest part...

These last few days have been a whirlwind of emotions and things to do. My school year is over and with that came the ending of so many things.  Saying goodbye to your friends and a place you called your second home after six years is a difficult thing to do...but this year has been different.  I don't think I ever fully felt like I was back at school after I returned from my maternity leave.  Of course I put in 100% effort ever day, but my heart and mind were with my new daughter and learning how to be a mother. Those were the things that were most important to me this year...not test scores or learning one more new way to analyze a reading assessment. Maybe that has made it a little bit easier to say goodbye...
 We ended our school year with some fun activities- a walk to the neighborhood park.  I'm sure we were a sight to see.  All 100+ Kindergarten students holding hands, two by two, walking down a very busy street.  But we made it safely and enjoyed the hot sun beating down on us.  As we walked back we passed the Burger King across from our school. I heard a chorus of little voices begging me to stop.  "Are we going to Burger King now?"  "Mrs. Wolfe? Can we please stop and get a hamburger!?"  Haha :)
We began our last day of school with a lockdown, something that has unfortunately become very normal at my school.  I guess it was one last hurrah before sending us off into summer. My small friends came to school dressed in their Sunday best for their very much anticipated Kindergarten Graduation. We had been practicing and practicing for a couple of weeks so our songs would be perfect for our moms and dads...and they were. We always end with the song I'm Gonna Miss You and my classroom suddenly became filled with parents crying, wishing their little Kindergarteners would stay five for just a while longer. 

My students were high on sugar and the feeling that summer is coming so we spent our last day of school calmly cleaning up the classroom and saying goodbye. I didn't tell them that I was moving away...I wanted to, but I couldn't find the words.  Every year I give my cloud talk during the last few minutes of school. I told my students that I was proud of them and that they are going to do great things in first grade.  We sang our goodbye song and when we got to the part that says we are thankful for our teachers I was swarmed by my class.  We held each other in a great big hug and I smiled at each of them trying not to let the tears escape my eyes...they are going to do great things, I can feel it. 
The staff gathered outside as the buses drove off-it's tradition to wave goodbye to our students on the last day of school. Little arms poked out of the windows waving wildly at their teachers. And soon they were gone and it was quiet. 

* * *

I spent the next few days packing up my classroom which was quite the job.  I never thought I have accumulated very much stuff, but teachers are notorious for keeping everything...you never know if you'll need that half eaten pencil! But it's finished.  My classroom is now empty, waiting for the next group of students to make their mark. 

  I was one of the last to leave on the teacher workday.  I couldn't make myself walk out the door for the last time.  I just stood in the middle of my room. 

I finally walked over to my piano.  I placed my hands on the keys for the last time and played my clean up song, which is a pretty tune from the 1950's about why the birds are singing.  I thought about how many times I've played that song...

I closed the piano, picked up my last packed box, and quietly said goodbye. 

Friday, May 24, 2013

ten months

We cannot believe our baby girl is 10 months old! The week of her ten month birthday brought lots of firsts- clapping, growling, and her first case of Roseola (not fun).  She has officially discovered the cats and giggles and squeals whenever they enter the room and she especially loves to pet them as she drinks her bottle. 
Everdeen is so full of life and wonderment.  We can't get enough of her belly laughs and her heart melting smiles.   She is our everything!  We love you so so much little one. 

Sunday, May 12, 2013

I Am a Mother Because of You...

 Sweet Everdeen, you made me a mama. 
From the moment your little heart started to beat inside of me I have dreamed about the kind of mother I would be. Everyday I am so thankful for you...for this life I was trusted to take care of, teach, nurture, and love. You are part of me and I am part of you.
And to my own mama...on my first Mother's Day I can now understand better the love you have for me.  I am so so thankful for everything you do for me and my family...I wish I could find the words to explain how grateful I am.  I would not be who I am today without your love, gentle guidance, and support.  I love you so much!

And to all the mother's out there...Happy Mother's Day! 

Saturday, May 11, 2013

{19/52}


"a portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2013."

Everdeen Kate: Most days I find you next to your basket of books quietly flipping through the colorful pages by yourself. You don't notice anything else around you...except maybe your mama balancing on the edge of the couch trying to capture your picture ;)    

 Linking up with Jodi :)

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Smells Like Everything Is Going To Be Okay

It started to rain just as we were eating dinner.  I love the rain...maybe because here in Colorado we don't have rainy days very often.  I love the way it smells and how the earth feels fresh again.  I leaned my head against the partially open screen door and felt the cool breeze against my face as I breathed deeply in and out. I closed my eyes and for the first time in almost seven years I felt a calm wash over my body.  
We are moving home!
{it was thundering :)}

This morning I accepted a job offer to teach in my hometown!  It's been an overwhelming month of interviews and even a second job offer.  We have wanted this for so so long that I can't actually seem to wrap my mind around the fact that it is happening.  I know now that this is the right time.  I needed to work towards this moment...to earn it so that I could appreciate it every single day.   I wouldn't change the past six years for anything, especially if it meant I could have my dream job today.
I'm excited to document this time.  This will be an extra busy season in our lives- wrapping up the school year here, packing up my classroom and our apartment.  I know this can be a stressful time, but I'm trying to hold onto the fact that this is a good stress to have.

So for now, we are clinking our champagne glasses and celebrating!  Life is good!

Saturday, May 4, 2013

{18/52}

"a portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2013."

Everdeen Kate: Your little curls held a bow perfectly in your hair today. You're looking more and more like a little girl each day and less and less like my tiny newborn. Only three more months until we celebrate your first year, these days are so precious and are going by too quickly.

 Linking up with Jodi :)

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Ringing in May...

with a giant snow storm. It's a little ironic, no?
Happy May Day!
Here's to warmer weather tomorrow :)